I had a hard time at Duane Reade the other day trying to choose a cover to buy… and then I chose Troy and Abed (and Jeff), duh.
“Oh man, I haven’t played Spider Solitaire in, like, ages,” thought Donald Glover. He hadn’t expected to have so much fun on a Windows computer but it had been a long three years since he had last used a PC.
“I used to be sick,” he whispered under his breath. The cards were shuffled out and Donald Glover moved the mouse.
And then Donald Glover froze.
Something was wrong. Too many spades. This isn’t right. Where are the other suits?
Panic was building up in Donald Glover’s mind. He had completely forgotten the rules of Spider Solitaire. He was going to lose the game because he couldn’t remember a single regulation of the simple computer game.
“Do I go up or down?” he thought.
Now he was really worried. His hand was locked over the mouse.
Had his train of thought been allowed to continue, in the split second after he would’ve made the logical psychological leap from Spider Solitaire to Spider-man. And after that the painful memories would’ve boiled up after two really good weeks of not thinking about it. The embarrassment of not remembering the rules to this stupid game would’ve only exponentially amplified upon the recalling hearing about Andrew Garfield’s casting. And from that moment on, Donald Glover would swear off Spider Solitaire. When his cool friends would bring up the game at a later party trying to be all swag and ironically ironic, Donald Glover would’ve dismissed it with a clever retort. No one would say anything, but they would all make the connection and understand.
But he remembered the rules to the game and went on with the game. He won, but it was with like 130 moves, so Donald Glover wasn’t too happy with himself.
“Fuck Andrew Garfield,” Donald Glover said into the darkness. “Fuck Andrew Garfield in his fucking dick.”
We have been listening to it a lot lately.